Wednesday June 14, 2006

The big freeze

It was so chilly here last night I had an icecream headache when I woke up. You know, the kind you get when you bite into something frozen and leave your teeth in for just a moment too long. Despite that I feel really rested. I've spent the morning so far eating, standing under hot water and making a little video of myself opening my Day 5 Care Package. It's a lot of fun.

Day 5 Care Package:

If you have broadband, click here to watch a little video of me opening this package. And burbling mindlessly about other stuff (how did the baked beans get in there?)

A drawing. This time of two figures, both looking directly out of the paper. One seems to be wearing a jester's hat and her lips looks sewn up. One has her chin tilted up a little so she's looking down at me.

With this fresh inspiration and a plate of Pam's Baked Beans I'm about to re-tackle what's become known as my Difficult Third Song. It's not a friendly creature. About 11pm last night I finally decided what I want it to be about. This could actually be a bad thing.

Quantity. Not. Quality.

x

God it's nearly 4pm and I'm hardly any further ahead with this song. I've completely changed the tune, though. I have to make a deal with myself to finish it before 6pm tonight. I have to understand that songs I'm not fond of need finishing just as much as songs I love. Possibly more. Gotta get it over with so I can get to the other side.

I've been listening to some Patti Smith and Tom Waits and reading E. Annie Proulx to put me in the mood. I'm feeling a bit hoha with my voice - this is a common thing and must be seen for the self-indulgent luxury problem that it is. But if you'll allow me...I just get annoyed that it's so sweet and kind of pure, that it only suits a certain kind of lyric and melody. I'm trying on this album to write songs in my low register. I want to sound like a woman, not a girlie.

OK, whine over. Back to work.

x

Having a few technology issues, I've gotta say. It seems nothing is ever straightforward. At the Internet cafe today, I wanted to send my photos from my laptop to Klixo to upload - but I didn't bring the right USB cable. I wanted to update my blog - but there was an error message. I wanted to put the video of me opening my package on a CD to send to Klixo - again, wrong cable.

Fortunately, some technology is still functioning fine. My laptop isn't broken. The bach's old heater is still working to blast the chill off early in the morning. It's not as cold tonight as it was last night, but I went and bought a whole lot of kindling and coal anyway - stocking up. It's bound to turn icy again at some stage. And I swept the floors and cleaned out the fire-grate - the place is gleaming.

The good news is that when I listened back to the song as I'd left it last night, I liked it. I feel good about it. I think I can finish it in the next hour or so. In time for Chris' visit (mmmmm...fish and chips...)

x

Finally. Finished this godforsaken song. It's called 'Harm'.

My problems with this song were:

1. I hadn't done enough free writing to generate lyrics for it. Confession time: I had a hankering to use some favourite 'spare' lyrics from another song. I hadn't been able to use them in that song for various reasons of space (and probably good sense) but I couldn't let go of them. Even though they didn't fit the rhythm or chords of this new song at all.

2. Because the lyrics weren't working, I couldn't feel passionate about singing the song. I'd have a go at the first two verses then lose heart. My motivation would evaporate. What was this song about? What do I have that's worth saying? I started thinking bad things.

It's always the way: you have to kill your favourite child. I cut out the old lyrics and did 20 minutes of free writing. A storyline emerged - totally different to the one I had in mind initially - about an unhappy woman I once knew.

Sian's picture gave me the line I most enjoy singing (which shall remain for now a mystery). Once I had that line I had my enthusiasm back for singing the song, so I could carry on and work through a chord structure and a melody.

In the end the song's only just 3 minutes - a new thing for me. But it's the right length for this song.

Is this interesting for anybody? Lord knows.

x

H